S.T.O.A.

Among my dad's things were three spiral notebooks filled with family history, memories of growing up during the Great Depression and his military service in WWII. Rather than transcribing the notebooks, Himself thought my task would be easier using speech recognition software so he gave me his copy.

I asked the Young One for my headset and mic which she had borrowed for a class. She said I didn't need it with the built-in mic on the laptop. She watched as I installed the program and went through the training routine.

The process seemed simple enough. Read a short paragraph so the program could "learn" your speech pattern. I chose to read the Alice in Wonderland sample. Alice sitting with her sister and bored to tears because the book her sister was reading had no pictures or conversation. What was the use of a book without pictures or conversation?

What the hell? The cursor was flashing a yellow arrow above the very first word of the paragraph. The Young One snickered. Start again. "The" and the arrow moved to the second word. Blah, blah, blah, and what was the use of a book without pictures or conversation? What the hell? The arrow was still flashing above the second word.

I have been told by friends outside of the New England area, that I speak very fast. I think you all can't keep up. Neither can the programmers of this software. But I gave it one more time. Blah, blah, blah, and what was the #@$@ use of a %$%^ book without %^&^757 pictures or ^$#9$# conversation?

Obviously, the program isn't sophisticated enough for a Bostonian accent or else the employees of the software recognition corporation belong to the S.T.O.A. Listen to the Bob and Ray routine if you need to be edumacated.