In 2003, Ma had a stroke. Dad was her full time caregiver until he he had a car accident that totaled the car. So in 2006, I became their chauffeur among other jobs.
At the time, to deal with the stress of running two households and working, I kept a blog entitled CJ's Whine and Cheeze. Egged on by some friends who enjoyed the first read through, you'll see your part when it comes by.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Just Say No
Usually children pit one parent against the other. If the child wants something and one parent says "no", the child goes to the other parent to try to get his way. At odd times while dealing with my weebles, I have become the parent.
Ma had a stack of letters to be mailed. There must have been a dozen or more. All were being sent to some sort of contest, psychic, or bogus charity. No doubt each envelope contained a check for a small amount, $5 or $10. A dozen letters and this was just one days' mailing.
She asked me to stop at the post office downtown on the way to the doctor's office. I said no. If these were bills to the electric company or property taxes, I would have stopped. (Well, in all honesty, not without a bit of whining. I hate driving downtown.) I thought "no" would be the end of it, but I should have known better.
A short time later, Dad approached me.
"Mother has some letters she needs to mail. She needs you to stop at the post office on the way to the doctor's office."
"Mother" when he's in the "I'm the Father you will do as I say" mode.
I would have used a very common, Bostonian expression, but it isn't politically correct, not that it ever was. I will substitute. What are you on, crack? She just asked me, and I said 'no'. I'm not going to enable her. She's only sending out things to the scammers. She can put the letters in the mailbox for your letter carrier to pick up. Though you should take them, tear them up, and throw them away." End of discussion, though I should have known better.
"She says you always do things for me and not for her." There was a note of glee in Dad's voice.
"Well, you can abuse of her of that notion. I just shot you down too. You can also remind her, she did not push her walker the two miles to the emergency room, or the eleven miles to Market Basket, the twenty doctor's appointments or the million other shuttle runs where my Toonerville Trolley takes her."
Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother. Easier carved in stone than done. Help me, Lord, I'm trying. There should be a corollary to that rule. Except when they are doing something stupid like flushing their income down the commode. Than thou shalt just say 'no'
