The Friday Five

Jeff Dunham's buddy, Walter

Five things that chapped me this week.

1. Himself and I get our respective hair cut at the same salon. My hair is just a tad longer than his hair. We both get a wet cut. That is, head washed and hair cut. No mousse, goop, spray, set, styled or blown dry. His hair cut $18. My haircut $30. The salon raised the prices this week. His hair cut $22 and my haircut $35.

2. I went to by a pair of new jeans. If I stand up straight, I'm 5 feet 1 1/2 inches tall (though I lie on my driver's license and list myself as 5 feet 2 inches tall. Shhhhh, don't tell.) In either case, I need to buy trousers that are sized for petites, under 5 feet 3 inches tall. So clothing manufacturers, since when is a 30 inch inseam the right length for petite? A 30 inch inseam is for Amazon women, not Hobbits.

3. Target (or any store for that matter) when you have two registers open and 12 people in line at each one, open another damn register or two. Your clerks shouldn't be stocking shelves while people are waiting days to check out.

4. Michael's how about offering 40% off the entire order instead of one stupid item?

5. AMC you're supposed to show movie classics, but all you show are more commercials.

Want to add to my list?